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funny joke
1.

A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says She is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked in the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

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2.

A man is talking to God. The man: "God, how long is a million years?" God: "To me, it's about a second." The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?" God: "To me it's a penny." The man: "God, may I have a penny?" God: "Wait a second."

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3.

Someone asked a detective, "Why are you under a bed sheet?" The detective replied, "I'm Undercover."

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4.

Man walking into bedroom sees wife packing a case. He asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "I'm going to New York, I've heard prostitutes get $400 a time for what I do for free." The man starts packing case. Wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm coming to just to see how you are going to live on $800 a year."

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5.

Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.

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6.

There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says, "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says, "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says, "Well then I'll go at night."

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7.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

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8.

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry." At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: "Will it take ME?"

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9.

A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, "I should swallowed you when I had the chance!"

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10.

Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny. Doc says, " I'm gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow ." Doctor starts and woman begins to moan. Doctor gets faster and harder. Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?" Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."

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